Who invented Fish? (God)
Who invented Chips? (God did too)
Who invented Fish & Chips? (The English did)
Well who invented poo? (Your mum did)

You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag (x2)

CHORUS:
We'll give you what we've got (oh ah) (x2)
We're England, England and we've given so much
We're England, England and we're coming for our cup

Who invented Love? (God)
Who invented Hate? (God did too)
Who invented Love & Hate? (The English did)
Well who invented poo?

Who invented time? (God)
Who invented time? (God did too)
Well who invented half time? (The English did)
Well who invented poo? (Your dad did too)

You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag (x2)

REPEAT CHORUS

50% of the inventions inverted after the second world war have been English. Trains, Boats, Planes, Computers, Penicillin, Connect Four, Countdown, Generation Game, Telephones, Parliment, National Health, Luddites, Bessemer Converter, Spinning Jenny, Steam, Internal Combustion, Hovercraft, The Clash, Blur, Oasis, Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Capstan Full Strength, Navy Rum, Hipsters, Hippies, Flares, Vera Lynn and Chris Kamara

REPEAT CHORUS

Who invented Fish? (God)
Who invented Chips? (God did too)
Who invented Fish & Chips? (The English did)
Well who invented poo? (The Dutch) (No)

Who invented time? (God)
Who invented time? (God did too)
Well who invented half time? (The English did)
The Dutch invented Poo? (Really)

(Right now, come on, we're waiting... And we've given so much we're taking something back)

Lyrics transcribed by fatles.co.uk with modifications by elasticaman and Veikko.