85. ‘Beard’

B-side of ‘Parklife’ 12-inch and second of two-part CD. Produced by Blur and John Smith.

The sniffiness of the clientele and staff at The Premises rehearsal studios in Hackney – a jazz place used by Blur in the early days – had inspired a favourite piece of rehearsal room silliness. “Total cod jazz,” says Alex. “Chromatic scales with notes dropped at random. It used to really annoy them (the staff).” Needing B-sides, the band decided to record it for a joke. A collection of gratuitous and wonky solos, it could only have been improved by the inclusion of canned applause after each effort. Sure enough, Blur did consider this. The title – Dave’s suggestion – refers to the grossly unfair theory that all jazz aficionados have beards. But as Graham puts it, “We could have called it ‘Pipe’. Or ‘Beret’.”